i heard the bells

The church down the street from my brother's flat in Bath has an open bell ringing night every Monday. I have been sitting in the living room the past hour very much enjoying the sound. I can't help but think of the poem (and hymn) "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The words were written at a time of war and despair, Longfellow had recently lost his wife and had received news that his son had been wounded in battle. He found himself in a moment without hope, unable to see the good in the world. In that moment of loss, the bells on Christmas Day remind him of the good that is still there "the wrong shall fail, the right prevail with Peace on earth, good will to men".

I often find myself dwelling on the negative aspects of my life. There is always something I wish I was doing instead, something I wish I had done differently and aspirations that I hope to achieve. I allow myself to get caught up in the cynical and apathetic world, dismissing the good that I know is all around me. I know I am not the only one to have these moments of self-doubt. For myself I hope to remember the sound of the church bells as they remind me that the wrong will fail and the peace will prevail.

there are alway going to be changes

I have recently been putting a lot of thought into what I want to do when I come back to the States. I have talked to a lot of people about this and everyone has their own opinion of what they think I should do next. While some people would hate to be told by someone else what the next step should be, I don't mind it. It really gives me a chance to talk everything out and bounce ideas around with people who know me really well.

I have recently decided to change some of my long term plans. I was planning on returning home to Oregon and staying in Salem to attend Willamette. After some persuading by my sister in law I have now decided to move to New York in March to attend Columbia University (if i get in, fingers crossed). I will still be in Salem for about 6 weeks but then I will move back East in an attempt to make something of my life.

It is a big step, attending graduate school and moving to a city like New York but it will be an adventure and that's what life is all about.