i keep asking myself...

...why? After I graduated from NAU I was only home a short time before I ran off for an adventure in DC. I left with some intention of returning so I never really went through all of my stuff that I was leaving behind. I told myself that I would take care of it after I got back. It's been over 2 1/2 years since I first left and I am now having to face the annoyance which is my stuff. I have boxes of papers and notebooks from college courses, trinkets from who knows what and a healthy assortment of fuzzy photographs dating back to middle school.

I started going through it the other night in hopes of finding my college diploma. You may ask, as a friend of mine did, how did I manage to lose my diploma? Funny thing, I had never actually seen it. NAU sent it to my parents house while I was in DC and I only came home once over the last 2 1/2 years and I couldn't find it then. I knew that I was going to eventually go through all my stuff and a desire to see my diploma gave me the motivation I needed to get started.

I started pulling open boxes to reveal the oddest hodgepodge of things. For a couple of hours the other night I was constantly saying to myself "Why the heck did I keep this?" or while looking at a picture "Why did I even think this was cool?" There were a few things that when discovered brought back some fun memories. Like the photo of me and my good friend from high school dressed like hos for our senior class 'Pimp and Ho Day'. A day that inadvertently created quite a stir from some of the parents of the underclassmen.

Last night I had gone through all of my boxes without finding my diploma. I was reaching a point of frustration. Well, in the same room where my boxes have been kept are also boxes belonging to my younger sister. My mom walked into the room and started going through my sisters stuff and within minutes had found what I had spent hours looking for, my college diploma. She was certainly smug about her ability to find it so quickly, I just wanted to know what it had been doing in my sisters stuff. When I had given it a quick once over, reminiscing about the good ol' college years I put it back in a box and continued organizing. It wasn't until a few minutes later that I realized irony of what had just happened. I had just spent the better part of a day looking for it only to put it away once it was found. What does one do with their college diploma? Is it meant to live in a box?

It's actually been a really good experience going through all my stuff. I've been able to purge myself of things that I've been keeping since high school. I think its all part of the growing up process, saying goodbye to your younger self and looking forward with an open mind and as little baggage as possible.

saying goodbye

I am leaving France tomorrow. I can't believe the time has come, it seems like I've been here forever. It has been an incredible 8 1/2 months. I've learned, experienced, and seen a lot. I am thankful for all of it and I will never forget any of it.


I went to dinner at a friends last night. After saying goodbye, as I was walking to the car, I caught myself thinking about the French word for goodbye, "au revoir". Directly translated it implies that you will one day see each other again. I know that someday I will make it back to this part of the world and see those that I have come to call friends.


So this is my fianl post from France. Don't think that just because I am returning to the States I am going to stop blogging though. I will continue through the next adventure, you never know what life has in store.

happy new year

It's already the 4th and I am just now getting around to posting a new years message. Lame, I know...but first things first, Christmas...

Christmas was fantastic. Three years ago I had my first Christmas away from home. When I was first faced with that prospect, I was pretty depressed. I had always been able to go home to my parents for the holiday and not going was an adjustment. It turned out to be a great Christmas and the two since then have also been away from home but they were just as good.

We left France early the morning of the 20th. It wasn't snowing but it was -16 Celsius and we were most definitely going to run into snow and ice along the way. It was along trip, 9 hours total with heavy snow and a detour along the way. We thankfully didn't have any trouble crossing the Channel and I made all my trains to Bath. Ada and her husband, Bryce, arrived the next day from Japan. The days leading up to Christmas were filled with secret shopping trips and yummy food. We also went to the Roman Baths (third visit for me) and we took a train to a nearby village to get pub food. I realized once again that you don't have to be "home" for Christmas. If I am with family it feels like home.

My New Years was quiet as usual. We stayed up and watched the fireworks in London on TV and then went to bed. There were some noisy neighbors but for the most part things were pretty subdued. I gave more thought to resolutions than I usually do. I've always kind of been against making resolutions as I never seem to keep them but in the last year or so I've learned that if I set a goal and work hard I can achieve what I set out to do.

I have one major goal this year and I've decided the more people I tell the more people will keep me accountable. I want to run a full marathon, I'm thinking Baltimore in October. That's right, 26.2 miles of pure torture. So my faithful blog readers, you are now charged with making sure that I stick to my goal!

i heard the bells

The church down the street from my brother's flat in Bath has an open bell ringing night every Monday. I have been sitting in the living room the past hour very much enjoying the sound. I can't help but think of the poem (and hymn) "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The words were written at a time of war and despair, Longfellow had recently lost his wife and had received news that his son had been wounded in battle. He found himself in a moment without hope, unable to see the good in the world. In that moment of loss, the bells on Christmas Day remind him of the good that is still there "the wrong shall fail, the right prevail with Peace on earth, good will to men".

I often find myself dwelling on the negative aspects of my life. There is always something I wish I was doing instead, something I wish I had done differently and aspirations that I hope to achieve. I allow myself to get caught up in the cynical and apathetic world, dismissing the good that I know is all around me. I know I am not the only one to have these moments of self-doubt. For myself I hope to remember the sound of the church bells as they remind me that the wrong will fail and the peace will prevail.

there are alway going to be changes

I have recently been putting a lot of thought into what I want to do when I come back to the States. I have talked to a lot of people about this and everyone has their own opinion of what they think I should do next. While some people would hate to be told by someone else what the next step should be, I don't mind it. It really gives me a chance to talk everything out and bounce ideas around with people who know me really well.

I have recently decided to change some of my long term plans. I was planning on returning home to Oregon and staying in Salem to attend Willamette. After some persuading by my sister in law I have now decided to move to New York in March to attend Columbia University (if i get in, fingers crossed). I will still be in Salem for about 6 weeks but then I will move back East in an attempt to make something of my life.

It is a big step, attending graduate school and moving to a city like New York but it will be an adventure and that's what life is all about.

a train ride...

...to Stuttgart. About a month ago I arranged a trip to the town of Stuttgart in southern Germany, with an old friend currently living in Hamburg, Germany. That trip took place last week. I had previously arranged a train to and from Stuttgart without giving a second thought to the fact that if there was a problem I would be S.O.L. as I speak no German. As the trip date grew closer and closer, I realized I was going to have to have a back-up plan of sorts in case anything did happen. So I found a German-English dictionary and learned how to say "sprechen Sie Englisch?" (Do you speak English?). Traveling there wasn't a problem. I was able to catch an earlier train out of Basel so I had plenty of time to change trains in Karlsruhe. I even had time to get dinner (German Subway is good although I was slightly thrown off when cream cheese was offered as one of my cheese options).

Stuttgart itself is a really cool town. There is a great mixture of old and new architecture, the Mercedes-Benz museum (my friend's main purpose for picking Stuttgart) and some really yummy food. I had my first hostel experience and it was actually pretty good. We had four roommates, two Canadians and two Germans. The Germans came back late each night and left really earlier each morning but did so quietly. The Canadians were nice even when they were comparing red light districts across Europe.

So Sunday I get to the train station about 45 minutes prior to my train. I noticed that there was another train leaving for Karlsruhe in a few minutes, so I figured I could do the same thing that I did on my way there so I hopped on the train leaving earlier. (What I didn't realize was that the train I caught was a commuter train of sorts, stopping in almost every town and village between Stuttgart and Karlsurhe. So instead of arriving earlier than my scheduled train I arrived at the same time. I vaguely remembered the four towns we stopped in going to Stuttgart and when we started stopping in other towns I started getting worried. I was pretty sure I had caught the wrong train and I was headed to Munich. I decided I would get up and investigate so I grabbed my handbag and left my backpack on my seat. I eventually found a map that had all the train routes on it. As I traced our path out of Stuttgart I noticed we were headed north. That is when I really started to freak out. After I calmed myself down a bit I looked at the map again and noticed that Karlsurhe was actually northwest of Stuttgart and the route we were taking in fact ended up in Karlsurhe. So I went back to my seat and enjoyed the rest of the train ride.

It was a fabulous weekend away. It was great to see an old friend and spend time in a new place.

we now return...

...to our original programing. After a month with no internet a person starts giving up that it will ever actually return. No matter how many phone calls are made the answer is always the same, "We're working on it." All I have to say is that no matter the country you live in the internet companies are all the same. They have their own agenda and all you can do is wait. Now that it is back on I have some catching up to do.

The month without internet was practically uneventful. We moved into our new house in Hegenheim which is the next village over from Hesingue. It is right on the border with Switzerland so we have quite a few German speaking neighbors. The new house is nice. It is smaller and older than the other house but it has charm and a fireplace which is oh so nice now that it has become colder.

Now that I am back in touch with the rest of the world expect more updates and a few personal observations.